Mr. (or Mrs.) Right ... A Love Blog

Yes, I know February is the Love Month.

Yes, I know it's March.

I was a little busy in February.  We welcomed to the world, Barrett Thomas Edwards!  I will have to write another blog in the near future all about the happenings of his entrance into this world.  But alas, that is for another day.  Today is all about "the one."

Around Valentine's Day, I started thinking about love.  What does "true" love look like?  Immediately, my grandparents images popped into my mind.  Johnny and Judy Clifton.  They fell in love as teenagers, got married, and the rest is a 54 year history full of ups, downs, unexpected turns, smooth sailings and jagged edges.  At the moment, they both sleep in their den.  Want to know why?  Because my grandaddy can no longer walk.  Alzheimer's has stolen his memory of how to do that, along with many other things, and so he has to stay in bed.  And, my grandmother decided that if he has to stay in the bed, the best way for him to be around family and friends would be to have his bed in the den.  And, if his bed is in the den...so is hers.  There are two things I know that, at the end of this miserable Alzheimer's journey, Johnny Clifton will still have: #1- his salvation through Jesus Christ and an eternity with Him.  His last breath here will be his first one in Heaven.  And, #2- the love of Judy Clifton.

But, what makes them love like that?  You have known of people who fell in love.  And out.  Or, who have truly loved one another at one point, only for their "love" to end in divorce months, years, decades later.  What's up with that?

The secret is in the yoke.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (NASB) puts it like this: "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?"  And Deuteronomy 22:10 puts it even more plainly: "You shall not plow and ox and a donkey together."

Say what?  Why would anyone even have to SAY that?  As if anyone in their right mind, who didn't own a John Deere, would be crazy enough to put a donkey and an ox side-by-side to try to plow a field!  Hmm.  I think you would be surprised how many donkeys and oxen "fall in love."  Maybe they went to farm school together and never bothered to look for other oxen or donkeys.  Or, maybe they fell in lust, which was "good enough" for them at the time.  Or, perhaps he was the only available ox and she had her mind set on little baby donkeys and he was good and kind and ... well, you get the idea.  Oxen and donkeys have been plowing together for centuries.  If not, God wouldn't have bothered to tell us to steer clear of the situation.  But why? Because he LOVES US.

I read a daily devotion one time in which the writer commented on a scene he saw when he visited the Middle East.  It was a farmer, plowing his field with a camel and a donkey.  Imagine that, please.  A camel...a HUGE camel...and a little bitty ol' donkey.  The writer said the farmer kept beating the donkey, trying to make it keep up to the camel's pace.  How horrible.

We don't see many yokes these days, in farming.  Most farming is done with machinery.  But, if we did, we would notice that a yoke is a great big piece of wood with two holes for two animals heads.  A yoke is NOT easily broken.  As a matter of fact, the animal is more likely to break than the yoke.  And no matter how much it hurts, those two animals are bound together.  Remember, the donkey may be the one getting the beating, but the camel is carrying that yoke alone.  An unequalled yoke hurts both animals.  Not just one.  Plus, once you're in a yoke, you WILL do what the other animal wants to do...no matter what.  If one turns, the other turns.  If one stops, the other must eventually stop.

So, what's my point?  I'm so glad you asked.

As you read this, if you are in a relationship, you are either thinking, "I am SO glad we are 'equally yoked'!" OR, "Oh, crap.  That is SO my relationship.  We are unequal...even if I don't want to admit it."

If you fall in the first category, let me just say this:  your work is NOT done.  Just because you have found someone who believes the way you do, worships the way you do, etc. does not mean you can sit back and relax. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that our enemy, the devil, roams around looking for someone to devour.  Hello!!!!  If Christian marriages and relationships are not being DEVOURED DAILY, I.  DON'T.  KNOW.  WHAT.  IS.  You better make sure your family is covered and I do mean COVERED in prayer...starting with your Christian husband or wife, and be acutely aware of the schemes of the enemy.  Pray with and for your loved one.  Worship together...really worship...not just at church but in every aspect of your life...your conversations, your actions, everything.

If you fall in the second category, you need to find your sub-category...are you married, or not?  If you are NOT MARRIED...RUN.  ("Oh, Katie, stop being so judgmental."  "My significant other loves me."  "Just because he doesn't go to church doesn't mean he won't ever go to church."  "Just because she cheats on me now doesn't mean she will do that if we are married."  "Just because he got caught stealing doesn't mean he's a bad person, as a matter of fact, he NEEDS me as a good influence in his life.")  Stop it.  You know the heart of your boyfriend or girlfriend ... or heck, even just your friend whom you spend lots of time with.  You know their heart because they show you.  And if their heart doesn't belong to the One your heart belongs to, you will end up either bearing the burden of a heavy yoke or getting a severe beating along the way.  Matthew 7:16 says that we will know other believers by the fruit they bear.  You are NOT being a judge if you are simply inspecting their fruit.  You are obeying the Lord.  There's no shame or condemnation in that.

If you fall into the sub-category of MARRIED...do NOT fear, do NOT be dismayed.  1 Corinthians 7:16 (NLT) says, "Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you?  And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?"  God wrote that down, I believe, because He knew we would yoke ourselves together with unbelievers for one reason or another and He NEVER wants us to lose hope in Him...for any reason.  Brother or sister in Christ, the situation you are in may not have been God's perfect design for marriage.  But, I am here to tell you (because I have SEEN it with my own eyes) that what the enemy meant to harm you, God means it for good! (Read Genesis chapter 50 for more on a story with that theme).  You are NOT alone.  Keep talking with our Lord on behalf of your spouse.  Keep walking with Him daily because your spouse will see an amazing difference in your life...one that will speak much more loudly than any conversation you might have.  Keep trusting Him for your spouse's salvation.  NOTHING is impossible with God.  NOTHING.

My grandparents came from very, very different families.  They were not both Christians at the time they met.  (Met, no.  Married, yes.)  But the one thing that they would both tell you, if they could, was that Christ made all the difference.  He IS the difference-maker, and whether you are in a relationship that is centered around Christ, or not, He wants you to come to Him.  Furthermore, He had something to say, from His own mouth, about yokes...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -- Matthew 11:28-30

Thank you, Jesus.