Mr. (or Mrs.) Right ... A Love Blog

Yes, I know February is the Love Month.

Yes, I know it's March.

I was a little busy in February.  We welcomed to the world, Barrett Thomas Edwards!  I will have to write another blog in the near future all about the happenings of his entrance into this world.  But alas, that is for another day.  Today is all about "the one."

Around Valentine's Day, I started thinking about love.  What does "true" love look like?  Immediately, my grandparents images popped into my mind.  Johnny and Judy Clifton.  They fell in love as teenagers, got married, and the rest is a 54 year history full of ups, downs, unexpected turns, smooth sailings and jagged edges.  At the moment, they both sleep in their den.  Want to know why?  Because my grandaddy can no longer walk.  Alzheimer's has stolen his memory of how to do that, along with many other things, and so he has to stay in bed.  And, my grandmother decided that if he has to stay in the bed, the best way for him to be around family and friends would be to have his bed in the den.  And, if his bed is in the den...so is hers.  There are two things I know that, at the end of this miserable Alzheimer's journey, Johnny Clifton will still have: #1- his salvation through Jesus Christ and an eternity with Him.  His last breath here will be his first one in Heaven.  And, #2- the love of Judy Clifton.

But, what makes them love like that?  You have known of people who fell in love.  And out.  Or, who have truly loved one another at one point, only for their "love" to end in divorce months, years, decades later.  What's up with that?

The secret is in the yoke.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (NASB) puts it like this: "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?"  And Deuteronomy 22:10 puts it even more plainly: "You shall not plow and ox and a donkey together."

Say what?  Why would anyone even have to SAY that?  As if anyone in their right mind, who didn't own a John Deere, would be crazy enough to put a donkey and an ox side-by-side to try to plow a field!  Hmm.  I think you would be surprised how many donkeys and oxen "fall in love."  Maybe they went to farm school together and never bothered to look for other oxen or donkeys.  Or, maybe they fell in lust, which was "good enough" for them at the time.  Or, perhaps he was the only available ox and she had her mind set on little baby donkeys and he was good and kind and ... well, you get the idea.  Oxen and donkeys have been plowing together for centuries.  If not, God wouldn't have bothered to tell us to steer clear of the situation.  But why? Because he LOVES US.

I read a daily devotion one time in which the writer commented on a scene he saw when he visited the Middle East.  It was a farmer, plowing his field with a camel and a donkey.  Imagine that, please.  A camel...a HUGE camel...and a little bitty ol' donkey.  The writer said the farmer kept beating the donkey, trying to make it keep up to the camel's pace.  How horrible.

We don't see many yokes these days, in farming.  Most farming is done with machinery.  But, if we did, we would notice that a yoke is a great big piece of wood with two holes for two animals heads.  A yoke is NOT easily broken.  As a matter of fact, the animal is more likely to break than the yoke.  And no matter how much it hurts, those two animals are bound together.  Remember, the donkey may be the one getting the beating, but the camel is carrying that yoke alone.  An unequalled yoke hurts both animals.  Not just one.  Plus, once you're in a yoke, you WILL do what the other animal wants to do...no matter what.  If one turns, the other turns.  If one stops, the other must eventually stop.

So, what's my point?  I'm so glad you asked.

As you read this, if you are in a relationship, you are either thinking, "I am SO glad we are 'equally yoked'!" OR, "Oh, crap.  That is SO my relationship.  We are unequal...even if I don't want to admit it."

If you fall in the first category, let me just say this:  your work is NOT done.  Just because you have found someone who believes the way you do, worships the way you do, etc. does not mean you can sit back and relax. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that our enemy, the devil, roams around looking for someone to devour.  Hello!!!!  If Christian marriages and relationships are not being DEVOURED DAILY, I.  DON'T.  KNOW.  WHAT.  IS.  You better make sure your family is covered and I do mean COVERED in prayer...starting with your Christian husband or wife, and be acutely aware of the schemes of the enemy.  Pray with and for your loved one.  Worship together...really worship...not just at church but in every aspect of your life...your conversations, your actions, everything.

If you fall in the second category, you need to find your sub-category...are you married, or not?  If you are NOT MARRIED...RUN.  ("Oh, Katie, stop being so judgmental."  "My significant other loves me."  "Just because he doesn't go to church doesn't mean he won't ever go to church."  "Just because she cheats on me now doesn't mean she will do that if we are married."  "Just because he got caught stealing doesn't mean he's a bad person, as a matter of fact, he NEEDS me as a good influence in his life.")  Stop it.  You know the heart of your boyfriend or girlfriend ... or heck, even just your friend whom you spend lots of time with.  You know their heart because they show you.  And if their heart doesn't belong to the One your heart belongs to, you will end up either bearing the burden of a heavy yoke or getting a severe beating along the way.  Matthew 7:16 says that we will know other believers by the fruit they bear.  You are NOT being a judge if you are simply inspecting their fruit.  You are obeying the Lord.  There's no shame or condemnation in that.

If you fall into the sub-category of MARRIED...do NOT fear, do NOT be dismayed.  1 Corinthians 7:16 (NLT) says, "Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you?  And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?"  God wrote that down, I believe, because He knew we would yoke ourselves together with unbelievers for one reason or another and He NEVER wants us to lose hope in Him...for any reason.  Brother or sister in Christ, the situation you are in may not have been God's perfect design for marriage.  But, I am here to tell you (because I have SEEN it with my own eyes) that what the enemy meant to harm you, God means it for good! (Read Genesis chapter 50 for more on a story with that theme).  You are NOT alone.  Keep talking with our Lord on behalf of your spouse.  Keep walking with Him daily because your spouse will see an amazing difference in your life...one that will speak much more loudly than any conversation you might have.  Keep trusting Him for your spouse's salvation.  NOTHING is impossible with God.  NOTHING.

My grandparents came from very, very different families.  They were not both Christians at the time they met.  (Met, no.  Married, yes.)  But the one thing that they would both tell you, if they could, was that Christ made all the difference.  He IS the difference-maker, and whether you are in a relationship that is centered around Christ, or not, He wants you to come to Him.  Furthermore, He had something to say, from His own mouth, about yokes...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -- Matthew 11:28-30

Thank you, Jesus.

My Mama

Boy, I bet you are holding your breath after reading that title.  But, I bet you aren't holding it quite as tight as my Mama. ;)

Don't worry.  This is a good post.  A good, upbeat, positive post.  I am writing it to remind myself of the qualities that I want to possess as a mom of grown-ups.

You know, sometimes, when I hear my mom say that she got in bed at 1:00 am, or that she needs to clean her house (again) or that she never has time to get anything done, I think, "WHAT are you DOING all day?!"  I think those thoughts when she is talking about having to rush to complete something work-related...or cleaning-related...or chore-related...or even health-related, like wanting time to walk around the track at church.  

In my mind, she is a single woman with two adult daughters...why would she not have "time?"  In my mind, if you aren't working 2 jobs, keeping up with 2 (almost 3) kids (3 years old and younger,) you should really have time to do anything in God's creation in the 24 hours He gives you to do it.

Well, thankfully, my mind isn't always right.  (No surprise there, right?)

My mom talks to people.  She doesn't gossip with people.  She talks.  She finds out what's going on in their lives, listens to their concerns (even if they have nothing to do with her and she can't really change their situation,) and she gives good, Godly advice.  She will, without making you feel like you have inconvenienced her or changed her plans, shove the 27.5 inch stack of "to-do's" sitting on her desk to one side, look you in the eye and ask you to tell her what's going on.  And she means it.  She cries with people who are hurting.  She hugs people who are broken.  She laughs with people who are happy, and most of the time, tries to find a way to turn you into one of those people, if possible.

My mom gives to people, especially her family.  Sick?  She's there with medicine, clear fluids, chicken soup, humidifier, phone number of the top 10 doctors who specialize in your ailment, and the ability to sit and love you until you are better.  Hungry?  She's got a recipe "pinned" just for the occasion, and you are welcomed for dinner.  Tired?  Sure, she can watch the kids...again.  

It takes time to do these things.  And guess what?  These are the things that matter.  And she knows it.  If you are "company," and you don't call first,  she may not let you in her front door because she thinks she has too many dirty dishes or her floor hasn't been swept this week or she left her work stuff piled on a table and her shoes in the floor out of sheer exhaustion...but you can bet that as those chores piled up, she took care of the things that mattered...the people God has put in her life.  It takes time to talk, but most of all, it takes time to listen.  It takes time to love on people.  It takes time to give.  It takes time to fellowship.  It takes time.

She slings baskets and clipboards to organize yet another amazing Fall Festival, Vacation Bible School, Easter Egg Hunt, or whatever else is in her "job description," as she remembers the "why" of her ministry and the 12 people who visited her office because they needed someone who would really care, really talk, and most of all...really listen.  She stays up until 4 in the morning, cleaning her house and making it just right for her friends and family to gather for the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's or a birthday party because the time she had set aside for "chores" was taken up by shopping for a pair of shoes one of her grandchildren needed or talking to her daughter about her concerns this week.  She runs late because she knows that there are things in life that matter more than time.  

We all have 24 hours in this creation God has given us call a "day."  So many days, I fall into bed, exhausted, but my stupid to-do list is complete.  But as I lay there, I think, "I wish I would've played dolls with Hannah Kate for 10 more minutes," or "I wish I would have played Batman one more time with Walker," or "I should've called my neighbor to see if she wanted coffee this morning, and see what's going on in her life today."  My mom also falls into bed, exhausted.  I would be willing to bet that every single day, she has things left on her "to-do list."  But very few wishes left because of people she knows needed or wanted her attention and love.

Here's to My Mama. 

Our Life

For more than three years, several of my Facebook friends have suggested that I blog.  My response, although not aloud, was that I simply do not have time.  Well, apparently, at 8 1/2 months pregnant with our 3rd baby, running a household that consists of a coach, a 3 year old, a 2 year old, a dog and myself...I now have enough time. Ha.  Ha.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ.  That means I am an imperfect sinner, saved by His grace, not a perfect person with all the right answers...but I do know where to find them.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom.  I work part-time for the radio station I worked for before my daughter was born and I am an independent salesperson for Initial Outfitters.  My husband coaches high school football and baseball.  Ironically, I really don't like score-keepers.  I love organization.  I love to help other people by giving them advice based on life lessons that I have learned...it makes me feel useful.  I despise being ignored, and my biggest struggle is with giving advice and the recipient not following it.  God is really working on me with this.  I like to bake.  Quiet people tend to freak me out a little bit, but people who talk too much are more annoying.  I have a personality that my husband says is "In the 5%."  I'm not sure what that means, but he usually says this in comparison with Nick Saban.

I have a lot to say, but I hope to only say things on this blog that glorify God.  I may need some reminders about this.

Our life is crazy and is about to get crazier.  I'm not sure what you think a stay-at-home-mom does.  I can remember, when I was making $60,000 a year at something people called "work" (but was insanely fun to me) thinking, "If I ever get to stay at home with our children, it will be like a vacation all the time."  <--- That is what you call "ignorance."  I wake up, make breakfast, clean up the mess, get kids dressed, work on the work that I do that actually makes us money, do laundry, break up fights, wipe noses, change diapers, wipe bottoms, flush toilets, wash everyone's hands, give snacks, clean up the mess again, do laundry, play outside, clean up outside toys, plan dinner, buy groceries, balance our budget, make lunch, clean up more messes, get other people to take naps, pick up the house, schedule parties/make plans to attend parties, sweep, mop, dust, vacuum, windex, clean bathrooms, make dinner, make deals about eating dinner, feed the dog, give baths, put on pjs, kiss bumps and bruises, read stories, color, play house, play superheroes, play with blocks, teach life lessons, teach learning lessons, potty train, give lots of hugs and kisses, try not to lose my temper, pay bills and when I can...take a shower.

That is really the tip of the iceberg, when it comes to our life.  But, I guess that's what blogging is all about.  You will get to see what goes on with us as time goes on.  Thank you for reading.  God really IS working in our life.  I hope to share with you all the amazing things He has done and is doing as time goes on.  Until next time...